By: Carrie Ward
“We shouldn’t have a child-centered home.”
I’ve heard that phrase many times; perhaps you have, as well. I agree with the idea behind this statement, but I find that sometimes what I really want is a self-centered home. I want my children and my husband to do things my way. I want my home to be ME-centered.
Lately, I’ve also heard a lot of talk about getting ME time. I keep hearing, “I need more ME time.” I believe there are times when it’s good to get away and take a breather, but just exactly how much ME time do I need before it becomes selfish and self-indulgent?
Am I getting away to rest in order to have more to give to my family? Or am I just trying to escape the people who “ought” to be serving ME?
I’m pretty ME-focused already. Perhaps you can relate:
- Do you find yourself getting frustrated because you’re the only one in the kitchen preparing the umpteenth meal to serve your family, and no one seems to notice? Are you banging the pots just a little louder hoping to gain sympathy or at least some acknowledgement?
- Are you aggravated because the laundry is stacking up, and no one is volunteering to help wash and fold?
- Do you get peeved when you have to look up from that book you’ve been trying to read because there’s a little person who wants your attention?
- Are you irritated because you’ve been trying to check email and your child wants you to actually look them in the eye when they tell you that bit of news that seems trivial to you?
Notice the words I’m using . . . Frustrated. Peeved. Irritated.
I heard a sermon a few years ago that touched on this, and it has stuck with me ever since. The pastor said if you’re frustrated, irritated, and aggravated, you’re most likely sinning. I can get angry over wrong, injustice, and sin, but I shouldn’t get peeved when I don’t get enough attention or don’t get my way.
On the other hand, when I become Christ-focused, I want to give sacrificially. I want to meet the needs of others, because I’m so thankful for the way Christ has met my deepest need. And I’m not concentrating on what I’ll get in return.
So yes, at times my home should seem child-focused . . . sometimes husband-focused . . . other times guest-focused. But my home should not be described with “when mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.”
And when I do retreat, it should not be to get away from the people in my home who are ignoring the needs of ME. It should be to refuel in order to pour more and more into the lives of those I love.
“Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Eph. 5:2)
Carrie Ward has been married for twenty years to Wes Ward, Sr. Director of Media at Revive Our Hearts. She’s a stay-at-home mom to their four children, and the author of Together: Growing Appetites for God (April 2012). Check out her fun stuff for everyday moms at AnEverydayMama.com.
This was originally posted on www.truewoman.com