I have a random theory.

I think that God chooses one thing from nature to remind each of us individually of His love for us. He uses that thing to woo us and to remind us that even though He is the Creator and we are the created, He’s totally smitten with us. I’m not sure if it’s a theory that works across the board, but I do know that God has always used one specific creature in nature to affirm His love and remind me of His sweetness.

What is it, you ask?

Groundhogs.

I know they’re basically just giant squirrels and that they have a nasty habit of digging massive holes in undesirable places, but I just love the little guys. They speak to me in the same way a beautiful sunset or majestic beach might speak to someone else.

That’s why I started praying for a groundhog sighting recently.

I was in the middle of a nine-day, six-state speaking tour. The work was hard and my body was weary. I was away from my family and I wanted so desperately to know that the Lord was pleased with me. Most days were spent in the car and I started every morning by asking the Lord to give me a groundhog to see along the way so that I could sense His delight in me.

Day after day…no groundhog.

I finished the work, wrapped up the tour, and flew home, wondering if I just should have kept my groundhog request to myself. And then my first morning back, it happened…

I was knee deep in my real life. There were no crowds of people waiting to hear me teach. No green room stocked with snacks where I could quietly reflect. Nope. The laundry had reached mountainous proportions. The fridge was empty. The kids were mom starved and motherhood was the only thing on my agenda.

As I stood in my dirty kitchen, I just happened to glance out the window in my back yard. And there he was. The biggest, fattest, most adorable groundhog you ever did see literally playing ten feet from me.

My eyes welled up with tears as I heard the Lord speak these sweet words to my spirit.

“Erin, I am never more pleased with you than when you are selflessly serving those in your home.”

I’m sure God was glad that I spoke to hundreds of people about His Word. He may have even thought it was cool how many girls and women I prayed with, counseled, and encouraged to choose Truth. But the “big stuff” that happens on stages and in front of the crowds isn’t what most impresses Him. I don’t have to go anywhere to please Him.

He is pleased when lay down my own life, serve others with love, and practice being like Him even if it’s just within the four walls of my home.

It was just the kind of sweet reminder I needed to re-enter my unglamorous, thankless, endless, monotonous, exhausting, but joy filled life as a mom.

But when God wants to send a message, He likes to make sure I hear Him loud and clear.

The next day, I took my littles to the park. It was an ordinary day doing ordinary mom things. As they climbed the jungle gym, my attention turned to a rustling in the bushes. There, two groundhogs happily played. And I was double reminded, that the Lord is pleased with my ordinary life. The greatest mission field He will ever call me too has fingerprints on the wall made by children who need to know about a God who is smitten with them.

How about you, momma?

Do you need to be reminded of God’s love? Do you need to know that you don’t have to earn it, and that He is pleased with you simply because you are His? Do you need to know that what you are doing is Kingdom work, with kingdom stakes, even if only feels ever feels ordinary?

If so, I pray you will have your own “groundhog sighting.” That somehow, God will find a way to woo you and remind you that He sees you and is pleased as you love and serve others well.

In “The Purpose Driven Life” Rick Warren put it this way,

“God never overlooks a single sparrow. And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail – even numbering the hairs on your head!” (Luke 12:6-7 MSG).

The greatest gift of love anyone can ever receive is attention. When you give people your time, you give them your life. When you pay attention to someone and look them in the eye, you are saying, “You matter to me. You are valuable.”

There is never a moment, never a second in your life that God is not paying attention to you. He notices you 24 hours a day because he loves you; you are valuable to him.”

You matter to God. And what you are doing as a mother matters to Him too.

So, go ahead. Look out your kitchen window. The reminder that you have God’s attention may already be frolicking in your flowerbeds.

ERIN DAVIS is the founder of Graffiti Ministries, an organization dedicated to addressing the issues of identity, worth, and true beauty in the lives of young women. She is the author of Beyond Bath Time, which addresses the importance of motherhood as a sacred role. A popular speaker, author and blogger, Erin has addressed women of all ages nationwide and written several books including Beyond Bath Time, Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess, and The Bare Facts, co-written with Josh McDowell. Her quest for the perfect scoop of ice cream is never ending and her children Eli and Noble are her constant source of entertainment.

A precious young mom shared with me last week that she had to ask her son and the rest of his eleven year old soccer teammates for their forgiveness. She loves the Lord, loves His Word, but in a moment of frustration, she lost her cool in front of the team. The next week, she gathered them together so she could look each one in the eye and explain why she needed to ask their forgiveness. Many of these kids are from non-Christian homes and had probably never seen or heard a gospel demonstration like that!

Forgiveness, just like anything else we want our children to learn, must first be modeled by us. Ever meet a teen who is angry, bitter, tends to retaliate and hold grudges? Look at his parents. You’ll often (not always . . . I said “often”) find that he has “learned unforgiveness” from his parents.

If your home isn’t filled with the practice of forgiveness, you are preparing your child for a life of prison. I’m serious. Unforgiveness leads to a prison of bitterness. Check out Matthew 18:21–35 and Hebrews 12:14–15.

Forgiveness isn’t for Wimps: 

The biblical standard of forgiveness seems impossible to keep . . . it is unbelievably high:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

“Forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)

Wow, Jesus is the standard and model for forgiveness!

The most important lesson I’ve learned in letting go of hurt is: I cannot keep the biblical standard of forgiveness . . . without returning to the cross and relying on His grace! That is the lesson our children so desperately need to learn at the youngest age possible.

Going to the cross, and focusing on the forgiveness offered by a sinless Savior, will provide your child the only perspective for understanding and offering forgiveness. Going to the cross will remind them of what really matters, so they can release the stuff that really doesn’t.

Most young children don’t harbor hurt or pick up grudges. Youngsters tend to forgive easily, but as they hit the adolescent stage, they’ve learned to be wary, and they don’t let go, forgive, or forget as quickly. Sometimes it helps to walk them through the process with a few questions that will help them loosen their grip:

• Is this temporary or eternal?
• Will this really matter a month from now, a year from now, in eternity?
• Who is benefited by me hanging onto this?
• What is the worst that can happen if I let this go?
• Am I operating in fear or in faith by holding onto this?
• Who am I hurting by holding onto unforgiveness?
• How much did God forgive me?
• If I don’t forgive, but God is willing to forgive, what does that say about my heart?

Do you want your child to walk in the freedom of the forgiveness lifestyle? If you do, consider whether there is anything you need to ask them to forgive you for today.

KIMBERLY WAGNER is married to her favorite pastor, LeRoy Wagner. Their children include Rachel and her husband Adam, Caleb and his wife Lindsey, plus a growing tribe of grandchildren! Kim’s passion is Christ, and she desires to ignite women’s pursuit of God’s glory. She is a frequent guest on the Revive Our Hearts radio program, as well as a regular contributor to the True Woman blog. Kim has written several devotionals and resource materials for women and loves encouraging women to become students of the Word. She is the author of “Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior.” You can connect with her through her website: http://www.kimberlywagner.org/ where she’s transparent about what God is teaching her.

Spring is the perfect time to talk about birth. Baby animals are born, baby plants spring from the ground. Life begins again, and all things are new.  Just like when we are born again in Christ.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! II Corinthians 5:17

When my children were beginning to ask about “being saved” I used this verse to explain to them, what they would become. A new creation in Jesus. Trying to get them to understand the reason we need to receive  Christ was sometimes, I think confusing to them. It did take a few years of teaching, before it sunk in that they were sinners, in need of a Savior!

I am very grateful my children made the decision at a young age to follow Christ. It was a process to get them to that point. It’s never too early to start them on the path of knowing who God is and how much He loves them.

Teaching about God’s love for them and why Jesus died for them is THE most important lesson your child needs to understand. When they are little, you can introduce our Savior to them through  music, stories, prayer, simple Scripture  & in everyday life.

You can begin using  everyday experiences to bring an acknowledgement of the Lord. In example: Obedience to mom and dad opens the door to sin and forgiveness. Talking about the attribute of showing kindness, can begin a discussion of how kind and compassionate our Lord was while He walked the earth.

2 Timothy 3:14-15
“But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”

Teach your children about the Lord and Salvation. Begin early, helping your child grow in Christ. The Lord expects us to point our children back to Him. If your uncomfortable with your knowledge, just ask God to give you wisdom. He promises to give it to you liberally. Seek Him and He will be faithful and help you. Go to His word for answers to your questions. God promises His word will not return void and as you sow the seeds of righteousness  He will water and then grow those seeds until they are ready for harvest. God Bless!

Beyond Bath Time takeaway: What are examples, in every day life, you can use to teach truths about God to your children?

DOUGETTA NUNEVILLER is a veteran homeschooling mother of three wonderful children: Ashley, 20, who is actively attending college; Joshua,18; and Jacob,15. She has  been happily married to her husband, Harry, for 23 years and they reside in Springfield, Missouri. She is the author of parenting4christ.com, a website devoted to bringing families closer together and growing in the love of God. Dougetta loves to blog, and Facebook (follow her at: Christian Patenting) She loves the Lord, and actively seeks to serve and bring honor to Him. 

I once read that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who walk into a room and say, “Here I am. Come talk to me. Come ask me about me. Come make me feel comfortable,” and those who walk into a room and say, “There you are! You look interesting to get to know. Tell me about yourself.” It’s a subtle but essential distinction.

Friendship has to begin somewhere. If you’re friends with someone from childhood, you may not remember how that friendship began. As adults, however, we need to know how to meet someone new, get to know them a bit, and determine if pursuing a friendship would be valuable. The quicker we can learn to be a “There you are!” person, the easier it is to meet new people. When we stay in our “Here I am” corners, we are more concerned about our own comfort level than we are about the comfort of those around us—and we are slow to make friends.

Let’s apply this to a real-life situation. Let’s say you regularly attend a moms group. You love going each week to see friends, learn something from the guest speaker, and let someone else love on your kids for a couple of hours. One week you see a new face. She’s briefly chatted with a few people, but it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable and doesn’t know anyone in the group. You want to approach her but don’t really know how best to do that so you don’t say anything, talking only to women you know that day. If she says something to you, you’ll be happy to chat, but if not . . . oh well.

In that situation, you’ve completely been a “Here I am” person. You played it safe, but missed out on being Jesus to a person who desperately needed to be seen and valued. You also missed out on meeting someone who may (or may not) become a friend someday.

If she returns to the group the next week, you have another opportunity. This time you decide to put on your courage and be a “There you are” person. You walk right up to her, offer a firm handshake, and say, “Hi I’m __________, and I don’t believe I’ve had the opportunity to meet you!” She will respond with a handshake and her name. Then you start the “get to know you” discussion: Tell me about your family. Are you originally from this area? What are the ages of your kids? Do you have a church home? How did you learn about this moms group? It’s not Twenty Questions, but your goal is to learn more about her and, in the process, make her feel welcomed and cared for.

So are you a “Here I am” person, or are you a “There you are!” person? Figuring that out will help you know where to start when it comes to meeting new people and launching friendships.

Share us what type of person you are, leave a comment and enter to win a copy of “No More Perfect Mom!”

JILL SAVAGE is a wife, mother, author, blogger, and speaker. Jill is the Founder and CEO of Hearts at Home, an organization that provides conferences and resources for moms. The National Hearts at Home conference draws over 6,000 moms every March. The author of 9 books including her most recent release, No More Perfect Moms, Jill is honest and transparent about how God is growing her even through difficult seasons of life. You can find Jill online at JillSavage.org and NoMorePerfectMoms.com.

Photo courtesy of: Daniel LaBelle Photography 

By Jill Savage

One summer when my two youngest boys were in grade school, they ran inside and said, “Mom, it’s so hot outside! Can we see if it’s hot enough to cook an egg on the sidewalk?” The practical side of me started to say no, but I caught myself. Why can’t they try it? Why is my first thought always no? Why can’t I say yes? Is it “wasting” an egg, or simply using it for a different, but just as valuable, purpose?

I finally said, “Sure. If you want to try it, go ahead! Just wash off the sidewalk when you’re done.” They got an egg from the refrigerator and ran out of the house to try their science experiment.

After twenty-seven years of mothering, I’m finally learning to be a “yes” mom more than a “no” mom. It hasn’t been an easy transition, but it is an important one. For years my interactions with my kids looked more like this:

“No, you can’t fingerpaint.” (It will make too much of a mess.)

“No, you can’t bake cookies today.” (I just mopped the kitchen floor!)

“No, you can’t have a friend over today.” (I’d have to go pick up or drop off the child.)

“No, you can’t play in the snow.” (I’m not in the mood for wet boots, snowsuits, and soaked hats and gloves.)

Over time, however, I started paying attention to the no’s and my reasoning behind them. It usually had something to do with my selfishness. I didn’t want to deal with a mess. I didn’t want to be bothered. I didn’t want to have more work to do. That’s not fun to admit, but it was true. My selfishness robbed my kids of some of the joy of just being kids!

One afternoon the children asked, “Can we blow bubbles in the house?” I initially said no because bubbles have always been an outside activity. But then I thought about my answer. Why can’t they blow bubbles in the house? We have no-spill bubble cups! Why do I always say no so quickly? Finally, I said, “Yes, you can blow bubbles in the house. Have a blast.”

And they did.

And that day, I started being more of a “yes” mom, than a “no” mom.

Why do we say no more often than we say yes? I think there are three reasons:

1) We don’t want the hassle. Some of their requests inconvenience us. It’s hard to admit this, but this is where our selfishness kicks in.

2) We lack flexibility. Most of us have an idea in our heads of how our day will go. When the children pipe up with a spontaneous request, it’s hard for us to switch gears to fit their idea into our plans.

3) We are protective. Our children’s natural instinct is to explore and pursue independence. Our natural instinct as parents is to protect. Sometimes those two instincts conflict. To be a yes mom, we have to balance our desire to protect and their need to explore.

To be honest, motherhood has caused me to come face to face with my less-than-wonderful qualities. Sometimes my kids bring out the worst in me. However, God doesn’t waste a thing. He uses my kids to bring me to Him. When I come face to face with my shortcomings, my weaknesses, and my less-than-wonderful qualities, it’s a reminder that while I’m not perfect, I’m being perfected by God each and every day.

How about you? How is God using your kids to perfect you?

Leave a comment or questions and you’ll be entered for a free copy of “No More Perfect Moms” by Jill Savage!

JILL SAVAGE is a wife, mother, author, blogger, and speaker. Jill is the Founder and CEO of Hearts at Home, an organization that provides conferences and resources for moms. The National Hearts at Home conference draws over 6,000 moms every March. The author of 9 books including her most recent release, No More Perfect Moms, Jill is honest and transparent about how God is growing her even through difficult seasons of life. You can find Jill online at JillSavage.org and NoMorePerfectMoms.com.

By Jill Savage 

When child number one threw a fit in the grocery store one day, screaming at the top of her lungs in this very public place, I was so embarrassed. I’d witnessed a scene like that before I had children, and I swore my kids would never do that. Since becoming a mom, I’ve found myself in all kinds of situations I never thought I’d be in.

When the kids didn’t sleep much, I found myself beyond weary. When they didn’t potty train as quickly as other kids their age, I was discouraged. When they grew older and began to have a mind of their own, I found myself exhausted from the conflict.

I’m less patient than I thought I’d be. I weigh more than I want to. My children are more strong-willed than I expected. At times, my marriage isn’t the “happily ever after” I dreamed it would be.

Inside I think thoughts like: I don’t measure up.  I’m failing as a mom.  My kids don’t act like her kids. My house doesn’t look like her house. My body doesn’t look like her body. My husband doesn’t help like her husband does. What is wrong with me?

Have you ever felt that way? Have you wondered what is wrong with you, with your family, with your kids?

The truth is that nothing is wrong with you or your family–or me and my family. We are all normal. Our frustrations are normal. Our disappointments are normal. Our struggles are normal.

When you and I compare our insides to other women’s outsides, we always come out short.  We’re comparing our struggles to their masks.

There are no perfect moms (just women who make a good outward appearance). There are no perfect kids (just kids who are dressed well and behave well just when you see them).  There are no perfect houses (just ones where the clutter is cleverly stored!) There are no perfect bodies (just ones who know the beauty of Spanx!)

Perfection doesn’t exist…but unfortunately we waste a lot of time and energy pursuing the elusive mirage we’re just sure can be found. While we’re pursuing perfection, we’re missing out on the most precious parts of life: the laughter of silliness, the joy of spontaneity, the lessons found in failure, and the freedom found in grace.

Let’s give ourselves—and our family–the gift of grace to make mistakes. We can’t be perfect moms, but we are the perfect mom for our kids.

What about you?  How has motherhood surprised you?

This week Jill will be sharing her insight on ditching the “perfect mom” facade. Leave a comment or question and enter to win a chance of Jill’s latest book, “No More Perfect Moms”.

Also catch Jill this week on Focus on the Family!

JILL SAVAGE is a wife, mother, author, blogger, and speaker. Jill is the Founder and CEO of Hearts at Home, an organization that provides conferences and resources for moms. The National Hearts at Home conference draws over 6,000 moms every March. The author of 9 books including her most recent release, No More Perfect Moms, Jill is honest and transparent about how God is growing her even through difficult seasons of life. You can find Jill online at JillSavage.org and NoMorePerfectMoms.com.

Picture courtesy of Heather Patenaude’s son throwing a tantrum!

By Erin Davis

I can feel it happening again. I’m dreaming of a Mother’s Day where I am allowed to sleep until 10, wake up to a fancy brunch and a clean house, and enjoy an endless stream of compliments and thank yous from my husband and children. It’s the kind of Mother’s Day we all dream of and the kind, of course, that ain’t never gonna happen.

And then what? Shall I sulk? Throw a fit? Pout in the corner? Probably not.

The reality is that Mother’s Day is likely to go down just like any other day. We will still have to make breakfast (while our coffee goes cold on the kitchen counter). The kids won’t dress themselves. Our flowers may or may not arrive and there’s about an 82.5% chance the hubs is going to offer to take the whole family through the drive thru after church.

Maybe that’s not how it works for you. Maybe you are one of the few who is celebrated exactly how you want to be each Mother’s Day. But for most, this holiday can often be a major disappointment.

And you know what? Our husband and kids aren’t to blame.

Thinking we’re the center of the universe, even if it’s only for a day, misses a major point—namely that we are not the center of the universe. We are a part of a family, an important part, yes, but not so important that we’ve earned the right to demand adoration, affection, and a one-day Get Out of Jail Free card.

Here are some biblical truths that many of us (especially me) need to be reminded of as Mother’s Day approaches:

We are called to be humble. 

Matthew 23:12 doesn’t leave much room for tooting our own horn, or demanding that our family toot it. It says, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”

Our role as a mother is not a burden, but a gift! 

Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” If you are blessed enough to have children, your gift has already been delivered!

Remember Whom you serve. 

I know that your kids probably don’t send thank-you notes very often, and your husband doesn’t always notice all the things you do to keep the plates spinning. But, the truth is, your husband and kids aren’t who you work for. Only when you are working to please your Creator will you find yourself fulfilled.

Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”

Service is our calling. 

In John 13:12-14 we read, “When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, ‘Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.’”

Serving your family is an important job. It is a way to demonstrate Christ to them and to the outside world, where families are crumbling because they don’t know how to serve each other. Psalm 100:2 urges us to “serve the Lord with gladness.” Losing sight of this mission, even for a day, won’t make for a happy heart or a happy family.

. . . If you still feel like you can’t go on without a thank you this Mother’s Day, may I sincerely thank you? Thanks for being a great mom. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting required to teach your kids about Jesus, and parenting according to God’s plan even when it’s countercultural. Thanks for modeling service every day of every year, even when you don’t feel like it. And this Mother’s Day, thanks for finding practical ways to live like it’s not about you so that the people around you know it’s all about Him.

And to make sure we get all of the warm fuzzies covered, here is a great video that perfectly describes who you really are this Mother’s Day. You’re a warrior. True, warriors are rarely celebrated with flowers and idyllic brunches. But that’s okay, they’re too busy fighting the good fight to notice.

Press in to the One who gave you those children, momma. And press on!

Happy Mother’s Day

Enjoy this Mighty Mother’s Day video

Leave a comment for a chance to win a signed copy of “Beyond Bath Time”! 

ERIN DAVIS is the founder of Graffiti Ministries, an organization dedicated to addressing the issues of identity, worth, and true beauty in the lives of young women. She is the author of Beyond Bath Time, which addresses the importance of motherhood as a sacred role. A popular speaker, author and blogger, Erin has addressed women of all ages nationwide and written several books including Beyond Bath Time, Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess, and The Bare Facts, co-written with Josh McDowell. Her quest for the perfect scoop of ice cream is never ending and her children Eli and Noble are her constant source of entertainment.

Batman probably ranks high on most lists of superheros. I certainly dig his leather pantsuit and underground lair. But my favorite thing is the bat light. When citizens were in trouble, they would shine a giant bat-shaped spotlight over Gotham, and down would swoop their hero to save the day.

God has sent out the bat light to parents for generations. If we look in His Word, we find countless calls to make teaching and living our faith out at home our highest priority. In verse after verse, God sends the clear signal that our children are a gift and a mission field. When we miss this message, the consequences are huge.

“Hear, O Israel. The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house” Deuteronomy 6:4-6.

I’m sending out the bat light to you, moms. Our culture is in danger of losing sight of the family’s value and the critical role only mothers can play. Our children are in danger of shouldering our anger, frustration, and bitterness if we can’t choose to see them as God-given blessings. And we are in danger of missing the most important ministry the Lord has ever given us (being moms!).

It probably won’t be as easy as flipping a switch. You won’t come to the end of this post and find that everything has been set right in your mom world. But I’m serving the ball directly into your court. You can make the changes necessary to live out God’s calling for mothers with greater joy, urgency, and a sense of purpose—or continue to drown in the woes that come with your role.

I hope you will choose the first option. I hope God will raise an army of mom heroes who will mother with God-given confidence, joy, and eternal perspective.

So, let’s strap on our capes, moms. You can even slide into a pair of red boots (just like Wonder Woman!). But let’s rise to God’s calling to swim upstream by asking God to shift our focus beyond bath time and toward ways we can use every moment in our mothering journey to point others toward Him.

P.S.You can hear me send out the bat light over the radio waves on Focus on the Family today by clicking here.

P.P.S: Portions of this post are taken from my book, “Beyond Bath Time: Embracing Motherhood as a Sacred Role.” Leave a comment to win an autographed copy

ERIN DAVIS is the founder of Graffiti Ministries, an organization dedicated to addressing the issues of identity, worth, and true beauty in the lives of young women. She is the author of Beyond Bath Time, which addresses the importance of motherhood as a sacred role. A popular speaker, author and blogger, Erin has addressed women of all ages nationwide and written several books including Beyond Bath Time, Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess, and The Bare Facts, co-written with Josh McDowell. Her quest for the perfect scoop of ice cream is never ending and her children Eli and Noble are her constant source of entertainment.

Picture is from a Batman t-shirt!

Of all holidays, Mother’s Day is probably the one that evokes the widest spectrum of emotions.  Perhaps it’s warm thoughts of your own mother or joy that you ARE a mother.  Perhaps it’s pain and disappointment if you are enduring infertility.  Perhaps it’s heartache if your relationship with your mother is strained or she’s gone.  Perhaps it’s angst if your current season of motherhood involves more pain than joy.

For me, as a mother of four–two conceived in my womb and two conceived in my heart and internationally adopted–my days probably look in almost every way the same as for a mother whose children are all biologically her own. Whether they share my genes, each of my children is firmly knitted to my soft mama’s heart.  Just as for other mothers, each child is a source of joy and pride as well as concern and heartache.

The occasion of reflecting on motherhood, however, evokes thoughts of my daughter’s birth mothers–the Chinese women who carried them in their womb, who felt their feet kicking and little bodies moving within, who sweated, and agonized as they pushed them out of the warm darkness of their bodies into the brightness of a harsh and broken world.  Who then–for reasons that will forever be unknown–abandoned their daughters.

My heart grieves for these women.  The circumstances of each of my adopted daughter’s abandonment differed: one a feeble and visibly deformed infant, discovered in a town square at approximately 3 weeks of age; the other roughly age 3, discovered scared and alone at the end of the village, apparently physically healthy.

I could speculate endlessly about possible reasons for their abandonment.  It’s hard to wrap my western brain around the concept.  Perhaps it wasn’t the mother’s choice at all, but pressure and threats from other family members.  Perhaps they hoped their daughter would receive better love and nurture elsewhere.  Perhaps they still wonder about their daughters, possibly not at all.  I’m sure that there are reasons for abandonment that would never cross my foreign mind.   While we may know the very basic circumstances of their abandonment–their approximate age and the location of their discovery–we will never know the birth mother’s situation or her state of heart that led these precious ones, after months and years of insecurity and fear, to now call me Mama.

While my heart grieves for those mothers and the brokenness my daughters suffered, my heart simultaneously soars with joy that these girls are mine.  Forever.

The miracle of adoption provides a daily reminder of the gospel, that He has adopted me as His daughter through no merit of my own, from a state of brokenness to eternal security.  Mother’s Day is a reminder to me that to be a mother is not necessarily about having given birth.  It is a call to love and nurture sacrificially in the way that Christ loved us.

AMY CANTILINA is an Air Force wife and mom to 4 precious kiddos — two conceived in her womb and two conceived in her heart, coming home to their forever family from China. She is a Jesus-lover, wannabe writer, endurance athlete, Bible study leader, and wears whatever other hats her family’s military lifestyle might bring along. She is being stretched by mothering through a wide range of ages and needs — high school through kindergarten, some with special medical needs or developmental delays.

In the spring of 2008 I first prayed for a baby, and in the spring of 2011 God answered that prayer with the birth of our beautiful daughter.  My joy was full but so were the fears I wrestled.  In some ways I felt like a baby Christian again, caught in a whirlwind of emotions, learning and applying what I have known and trusted into a completely new life – I know I’m definitely not the first to feel that!

Friends of ours had given us a card when their first son was born; it was full of prayer requests for his little life, a prayer for every day of the month. My prayers were not quite as coherent as those, especially at first, but the urgency of the moment drove me to my knees.  “Help her, help me” baby prayers at 3am; prayers as I heard the baby monitor light up in the morning; prayers when I thought of her safety, her soul, her future; prayers  with my husband; prayers while Eliza listened in.

When people found out that I was pregnant one of the most frequent comments I received was how my creativity would discover a whole new vista of inspiration as I became a mother.  So, when Eliza came I was anticipating a fresh flow of profound poetic thought, but instead I was swept up in the constant flow of changes and feedings and “Old MacDonald had a farm!” I was expecting full sentences, but I was blubbering looking at my beautiful girl! I actually wondered if I’d ever be able to write again.  I just about tucked some thoughts away to ponder later when my brain would start to fit itself back together again (still nowhere near a completed process!). As I continued to learn the wonderful balancing act and privilege of mothering, homemaking, writing, traveling and singing, Keith and I began to write a song for Eliza choosing this theme of praying for her, and the end result was “A Mother’s Prayer.”

My parents have faithfully prayed for me my whole life, and I remember when I was younger my mum met with other mums to pray for all their children – a “Moms in Touch” group in Belfast. Even just the knowledge of that helped me, and I want Eliza to know we are praying for her and trying to guide her in this context that reaches to the call and purpose of her whole life and an understanding of the Lord’s grace and faithfulness. We’re now in the toddler stage and some of the prayer needs are shifting.  We wanted the song to reflect the different seasons – ones we had discovered and then those still to come.  We also wrote it to remind us of our promise to pray for her through all the years we’re given.  We hope this song for her – and even more our praying for her – might catch her ear and help guide her heart as she grows up.

Please enjoy their new video: A Mother’s Prayer 

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Kristyn Getty’s personal prayer journal:

I noticed an older journal of mine amongst the debris of an Eliza playtime around my bookshelf and sat down to leaf through it. Before the sickness and tiredness of pregnancy, in the days when I had time in abundance and thought I was ‘busy’,  my most focused and best devotional times were always when I journaled.  To my shame, through pregnancy, and even now I have not managed to be anywhere near as consistent as I’d like to be or need to be. But in this newly discovered old notebook I read through a few prayers I had scribbled pre and post baby and remembered again God’s continuing faithfulness through the transitions of new life, chapters and all the unknown days ahead. It also inspired me to really focus on journaling again! I noted some of the prayers below – they’re nothing grand!- but I hope they might help someone in someway…

December 26th 2010 (10 weeks until baby comes)

‘Lord, help me not be afraid’

January 4th 2011

Father in heaven,

What a miracle it is that a little one is hidden inside of me and that You are weaving her together piece by piece, inch by inch; that You know all her days before they come to be, her abilities, her struggles, her humor, her disposition, the color of her eyes, the shape of her feet.  Such knowledge is too marvelous for me. I praise You for she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  Lord please protect her within my womb…’

January 8th 2011 – 8 weeks and 2 days till baby comes

‘Thank you for this little child within my womb – may she very early in life add her praise to the great song of praise and that those looking on might see Your goodness and strength through her young voice.  Help us teach her Lord, inspire her, make known what is right and how holiness is always beautiful…’

The same day -

‘I think today of those ladies I know who long to be mothers remembering my own heartache and how hard it is to wait and not know.  Father, please enable them to conceive and carry babies full term.  Help them to get through each day fulfilling what it is you have called them to for that moment.  May their greatest delight be in You and if children do not come move in their hearts by Your grace that they may not be lost in the distraction or disappointment but know Your healing and purpose for their lives.  You know the pain – draw near to them this day’

April 8th 2011 (Eliza is 5 and a 1/2 weeks old)

‘Father in heaven, thank You for this new morning and safety and rest through the night as Your unsleeping eye watched over us.  Thank You that all our nights and all our days are known and measured by You.  Thank You for the joy of family and that You love and care for each member of my family more than I ever could.  And yet the love of a mother is both fierce and gentle, strong and tender – thank You for our beautiful baby.  Forgive my anxious thoughts, worries and any idolatry in my heart.  She is Your child and may I love and serve You well in loving and protecting her to the best of my ability.  May I love and honor You by loving and honoring my husband well.  Thank You for Your care of me in these last weeks’

First Mothers Day – May 8th 2011

Today is my first Mother’s Day as a mother – thank you Lord for enabling me to be a mother and for the precious gift of Eliza in our lives.  Help me be a godly and gentle and hardworking and loving and joyful mother to the glory of Christ. May He be first in our hearts as we pray He will be first in Eliza’s heart