By: Erin Davis
Sometimes we moms say the dumbest things (guilty!). I’m on a mission to cut some of the silly things we say from our collective vocabulary. If you missed my first post in this series, be sure to check it out here.
Remember, I gave two litmus tests straight from God’s Word to help us know what we should (and should not) say.
Litmus test #1:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).
Litmus test #2:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
Our words need to build up and give grace to the listener.
Which brings me to one of the dumb things moms say…
Dumb thing #2: “Before I had kids…”
We mommas love to romanticize our life before kids. We are fond of talking about how skinny we were before we had kids. How much sleep we got before we had kids. How our houses were clean before we had kids. How we took vacations before we had kids. How we had time to brush our teeth before we had kids.
The list could go on and on.
But hunker down and think of your little ones for a moment. Put yourself in their tiny shoes. How would you feel if someone you love was always talking about how great life was before they met you?
Like a problem? An inconvenience?
Maybe even worse…a burden?
Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”
Our children are a gift, but so often our words communicate that they are a burden. When we speak about our life before kids like it was all rainbows and butterflies and uninterrupted gourmet lunches, it’s possible that they hear us saying that life was better without them.
Yes, there are things about life without kids that all of us miss. We may have had better hygiene, more free time, and 8 glorious hours of sleep…but we giving all that up for the blessings our children offer is a trade up. We may know this in our hearts, but we need to acknowledge it with our speech. It’s time for us to stop talking about our pre-kids life with over-romanticized longing, especially in front of our kids.
So, how about you? Are there things that you say that might be communicating to your kids that they’re a burden? Tell us about it. We’d love to help keep you accountable to use your words to build up the blessings God has given you.
A popular speaker, author and blogger, ERIN DAVIS has addressed women of all ages nationwide and is passionately committed to sharing God’s Truth with others. She is the author of several books including Graffiti: Learning to See the Art in Ourselves, True Princess: Embracing Humility in an All About Me World, The Bare Facts with Josh McDowell and the Beyond Bath Time: Embracing Motherhood As a Sacred Role. When she’s not writing books, you can find Erin chasing down chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.