Getting Serious About Gratitude

Yesterday, I wrote about God’s warning against spiritual envy from Jude 12–13. While that passage hit me hard, it felt like a walk in the park compared to what I read next.

Jude 14–15 reads,

“Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of his holy ones, to execute judgment on all and to convict all the ungodly of all their deeds of ungodliness that they have committed in such an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things that ungodly sinners have spoken against him.”

At first glance this sounds like a battle between God and the culture to me. Maybe Hollywood, pop music, and tabloid magazines are about to get their due. After all, they must be who Jude is describing as committing so many ungodly deeds, right?

Keep reading.

“These are grumblers, malcontents, following their own sinful desires . . .” (v. 16)

Cue record scratch sound effect.

The sinners God’s judging here are:

  • grumblers
  • malcontents

In other words, they’re complainers. They are being judged because of their lack of gratitude, not because of some sin we would perceive to be more grievous or devastating.

This shouldn’t surprise me, I guess. God commands gratitude often in His Word:

“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” (1 Chron. 16:34)

“Let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.” (Heb. 12:28)

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thess. 5:18)

I’ve got to confess that it’s easy for me to gloss over these verses. I know I should be thankful, but if I’m not it seems like no harm, no foul.

Perhaps that’s why Jude takes such a dramatically different approach to the issue. Instead of simply reminding us to be thankful in warm and fuzzy terms he describes the judgment due to those who do not thank God for all He has done.

True gratitude, the really, really good stuff that fills our hearts to overflowing and delights our giving God isn’t a result of rule following but of a constant reminder of the beauty of the gospel.

Jude may have been referring to the wilderness generation here, or he may have some other group in mind as he describes the coming judgment, but I know he could have just as easily been talking about me.

Gratitude is not something I am good at, despite the fact that God is so deserving. Discontentment is my default. Complaining is sadly common practice for me. The beauty of God’s Word is that it helps us recalibrate when we’ve gotten off track. In this case, the clear image of God judging those who chronically complain and habitually choose discontentment has the power to remind us to do things differently.

Now, before you add the words “show gratitude” to your to-do list for tomorrow, let me give a little disclaimer. For achievement-driven, to-do-list-loving, Christian women like me, gratitude can so easily become something that feels like a rule: We must give thanks because God commands us to.

That’s true. It is a commandment, but true gratitude, the really, really good stuff that fills our hearts to overflowing and delights our giving God isn’t a result of rule following but of a constant reminder of the beauty of the gospel. If we are going to put anything on our to-do lists, it should be to remember all that God has done for us, that we never earned or deserved.

Let’s start right now.

What can you thank God for? Will you choose contentment by focusing on all He has done?

Leave a comment below by Monday, September 30, letting us know what you’re thanking God for. Then we’ll choose one of you at random to win Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

 

Putting an End to Spiritual Envy

You know these are good things—kingdom building things—and yet, somewhere deep down you feel something other than excitement, joy, and the need to celebrate. You feel something a lot like envy:

  • A friend of yours is asked to be the speaker at your church’s women’s event. She hits it out of the park, and there’s a huge response.
  • Someone you know gets a deal to write a Bible study with a big-time publisher.
  • A family in your church moves to the foreign mission field and are part of a mighty move of God.
  • Your sister is a gifted prayer warrior. When she prays, things happen. Her prayers seem to have more power than yours.
  • God clearly intervenes in someone’s marriage, or with their child, or with their health while you continue to pray for Him to do the same in your life.

I can relate. Pride often rears its ugly head in my life when God is clearly using and working in the lives of others. I know better, and yet . . . I still feel a little jealous when God’s hand rests on someone else’s shoulders.

Perhaps that’s why Jude 11–13 has hit me like a two-by-four in recent days:

“Woe to them! For they walked in the way of Cain and abandoned themselves for the sake of gain to Balaam’s error and perished in Korah’s rebellion. These are hidden reefs at your love feasts, as they feast with you without fear, shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved forever.”

To know who Jude is dropping the hammer on here, we must do our Old Testament homework. I’m sure you’re familiar with Cain. In Genesis 4 Cain explodes with anger because God favors his brother’s offering. His envy results in murder.

When we are upset about the gifts God gives others, we secretly and selfishly want attention or accolades and don’t like it when others get it.

We don’t bring offerings to the altar anymore, so this may look slightly different in our lives. But we follow the way of Cain any time we are angry, jealous, or put off by God’s clear favor in someone else’s life.

What was Balaam’s error? If you’ve never read Balaam’s story you should check out Numbers 22–23. For now, the main thing we need to know about Balaam is that he wanted to use the gifts God gave him for his own gain.

When we are upset about the gifts God gives others aren’t we doing the same thing? We secretly and selfishly want attention or accolades and don’t like it when others get it.

Korah was guilty of this. Korah’s rebellion is outlined in Numbers 16, but here’s the gist:

“They assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron and said to them, ‘You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the LORD?” (v. 3)

Korah and his followers hated hierarchy. They refused to place themselves under spiritual authority because they thought it meant someone was better than them. (By the way, Korah and his cronies were swallowed up by the earth!)

These stories sound dramatic, but they all have one thing in common—spiritual envy. These are simply folks who resented God’s hand in the lives of others.

Jude has strong words for those of us who, like them:

  • are jealous of God’s favor
  • use God’s voice for personal gain
  • want to be in charge
  • resent spiritual authority.

And Jude gives us six clear word pictures for what spiritual envy makes us:

  1. Hidden reefs: a danger that’s hard to detect.
  2. Shepherds feeding themselves: greedy and bad for the herd.
  3. Waterless clouds: useless.
  4. Fruitless trees: in case you missed it . . . useless.
  5. Wild waves of the sea: destructive.
  6. Wandering stars: giving misleading guidance to travelers.

This is the cost of our spiritual envy. It makes us a danger to Christ’s Body and robs us of the fruit God intends to bear in our lives.

I don’t want to follow the way of Cain any longer. I don’t want to repeat Balaam’s error or participate in Korah’s rebellion. Instead, I am reminded that God’s blessing is as much a gift when I’m a bystander as it is when I’m the recipient. What’s good for Christ’s Body is ultimately good for me.

What about you? Do you ever struggle with spiritual envy? How do Jude’s words resonate with you?

Psst . . . for a second lesson I’m learning from these verses, check out tomorrow’s post.

The Time for Action Has Come

Yesterday I wrote about the influx of readers at LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com who are struggling with porn. I urged you to get involved by talking about this difficult issue with the young women in your life.

But I know those won’t be easy conversations to have.

Porn is a serious issue, but it is not an unpardonable sin.

Porn isn’t fun to think about. It certainly isn’t easy to talk about. It’s one of those issues we prefer to imagine impacts somebody else. Or for those who know the dark truth—that porn can sink its teeth into anyone—talking honestly about it can be amongst our worst fears.

If you fall into the category of women who have wrestled with porn, let me take a moment to talk just to you. I wish I could take you out to lunch and tell you that yes, porn is a serious issue. But most importantly, despite what Satan is whispering to you, porn addiction is not an unpardonable sin. Jesus Christ is more than able to deliver you and take away the shame you may be feeling. You don’t have to hide, in fact you could join me in leading a charge to set others free.

Because this issue has become too big for us to remain silent.

You may have read about Britain’s sweeping reform this past summer. Saying that the “darkest corners of the Internet” pose a threat to children, British Prime Minister David Cameron rolled out a radical and controversial plan to stop porn’s influence on his country’s youngest citizens.

The plan essentially blocks porn on most computers, smart phones, and tablets. Filters for adult content will become the default setting, and to access porn, citizens will have to prove they are eighteen or older. Cameron also demanded that Google and other search engine companies do more to hide porn from kids.

Cameron announced, “I am not making this speech because I want to (moralize) or scare-monger, but because I feel profoundly as a politician, and as a father, that the time for action has come. This is, quite simply, about how to protect children and their innocence.”

Has the time for action on the issue of porn come? Let’s look at what’s at stake:

  • One study found that 93.2% of boy participants and 61.1% of girls had been exposed to porn.
  • The number of fifteen to seventeen year olds who have had multiple exposures to hardcore porn is somewhere around 80%. 
  • The average age of first Internet exposure to porn is eleven years old.

Fact: Our kids are seeing porn. We know we don’t want this, but we should really know why. Here’s a great article from Focus on the Family that outlines the harmful effects of porn better than I could, but let me hit the highlights.

Porn is a big deal because it:

  • Wreaks havoc on marriages.
  • Creates unrealistic expectations.
  • Is addictive and progressive.
  • Causes emotional trauma to children who are exposed.
  • Leads to earlier sexual activity.
  • Devalues monogamy, marriage, and child rearing.

This list is not intended to batter those of you who have struggled with porn. You likely already know that porn can make a mess of things. But I think it’s critical for us to see in black and white what porn can do.

If that list isn’t devastating enough, there is plenty of evidence that easy access to porn has led to an increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and sometimes violent sexual behavior. Did you know that the FBI’s statistics show that pornography is found at 80% of the scenes of violent sex crimes or in the homes of the perpetrators? 

Porn matters because it launches an attack against so much of what God has created and treasures. But we’re not the prime ministers of a major world power. We can’t drag Google into the boardroom or force the citizens of our nation to change the settings on their personal computer.

So what can we do? I’d like to propose a three-pronged counter attack.

1. Pray

Prayer moves mountains. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says,

“If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.'”

When we see the numbers and realize how big the problem is, doing something about our culture’s porn problem can feel like climbing Mt. Everest. But nothing is impossible with God. I believe the avalanche of comments we’re seeing on LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com are indicative of a fresh attack by the Enemy. He is seeking to take young women out with the aftershocks of porn addiction, and he is succeeding. When the spiritual battle heats up, it’s time to draw our swords. One of our greatest offensive weapons is prayer.

I’m setting aside the entire month of September to pray about this issue. Would you join me?

2. Go on the offensive

The availability of the Internet is the number one contributing factor to the rabid spread of porn. So, let’s take our fight to where the battle is already being waged. Will you use your Facebook, blogs, and Twitter feeds to spread the word about this issue?

Here are links to some great articles to get the conversation started:

3. Talk to the Next Generation

I know I already asked you to speak to the young women in your world in yesterday’s post, but we mommas know how to make sure things get done. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Please, make it a point to talk to the young women in your world about the dangers of porn. The chances are sky high that she will be exposed to it early and repeatedly. Just one exposure can take her down a terrible path in the absence of someone to lovingly speak God’s Truth and stand up against the pervasive lies of culture about sex. If porn usage and addiction is going to decline (instead of continuing to rise) we must help future victims armor up.

Who can you start that conversation with?

That Girl’s Secret Porn Addiction


Catch Josh McDowell and Nancy today and tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts as they discuss how (and when) to talk to your children about sex as well as how to help them deal with temptation.

Did you know Truewoman.com has a little sister blog at LiesYoungWomenBelieve.com? It’s a site much like this one targeted at young women (mostly high school and college aged) with the goal of identifying lies and replacing them with God’s Truth.

Young women have a secret. They’re addicted to porn.

I have the privilege of running that blog, and the 30,000+ young women who visit there every month are a passion of mine. I often say that if I could, I’d put their pictures on my refrigerator (that would be a big fridge!). These are great girls who love the Lord and want to know how He calls them to live.

But they’ve got a secret. They’re addicted to porn.

They write to us about their sin, their secrets, and their shame. Here are their actual words:

“I am someone who struggles with porn, and I’m a female. How can I beat this struggle? There doesn’t seem to be help for females struggling with porn. What should I do? I don’t want to tell anyone because it’s embarrassing, and people would judge me.”

“I am also a female who struggles with the temptations of porn . . . I try to stay away from the temptations, but I always seem to go back to it. I feel guilty, and I want to be free from this sin. I feel sick about it.”

“I became a Christian recently, but before that I struggled with porn and masturbating. I still struggle . . . I have repented of it many times, told God I’m sorry and that I will do better, but I just can’t stop! I’m at my wits end, and I can’t tell my mom. Please give me some advice and pray for me!!!!!!!!”

Comments like these used to trickle in at a rate of one or two per month, but lately they’ve come in an avalanche. Every single day we hear from a young woman who is addicted to porn—and often porn’s lustful sidekick, masturbation.

Why am I telling you this?

Because these girls are your daughters, your nieces, and your neighbors. They are sitting beside you week after week in church, terrified that someone will find them out. They wear shame like a blanket. It covers them and tells them they must stay hidden, no one can know, no one will understand.

And because they do not tell, they are not free. James 5:16 gives us the anti-venom to the kind of sin that makes us sick:

“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. They prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

While it’s true that only God can forgive our sins, it’s also true that there’s tremendous power in confessing our sin to each other. Those of us with a few more years under our belt may already know this secret, but young women don’t seem to. They’re so afraid to disappoint us that they refuse to tell. The pull of porn is so strong that they cannot find victory on their own, and so they stay trapped in the cage of sin and shame.

Ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world.

I love those girls too much to leave them there. I’m determined to pry them out of the cage that porn creates, but I can’t do it on my own. I need your help. I need you to talk to your daughters and neighbors and nieces about porn. No doubt, it’s likely to be an awkward conversation, but the stakes are too high to keep avoiding it. And I need you to keep talking. Our culture offers plenty of “teachable moments” to talk about porn. Seize them!

Would you be willing to ask God to use you to help free those young women who are held captive by porn in your world? It’s not a mission for the faint of heart, but one I’m afraid we can’t avoid much longer.

Let’s be True Women by taking a stand against the Enemy in this area and fighting for those younger than us who have fallen into porn’s painful pit.